¹ To sum up what we’ve learned of it
Make quantum science sing,
It’s caused by resonance in fields
That make up Everything.

² From math that’s for, oscillation’s score
Max Planck’s constant we derive
That makes our math more accurate
And helps root out the jive

³ But for 80 years they’re stuck
In “Uncertain” mud
Believing Warner Heisenberg
and Neils Bohr, his favorite bud.

⁴ They claimed light came as particles
Much shorter than its wave*
That let them arrive at random
Yet, as statistics they behave?

⁵ But if that’s true each one we knew
Electromagnetic waves destroys
As each would have a random tone
Changing phase to make “white noise”

⁶ But, clearly that don’t happen
With laser light or cool FM
Having quiet reliability
No randomness in them

⁷ ‘till now we have examined
radio and laser light
They clearly violate his theory,
and blow it out of sight.

⁸ Next we’ll test his particles
Which he claims arrive
At random times within each cycle
Forms the basis of his jive.

⁹ A simple test with laser light
Delay one half of it
then bring it back together
To make interference from the split

¹⁰ When we bring his particles together
They might hit, or maybe miss *
By adjusting their arrival times
We can make sense of this.

¹¹ If his theory is alright
Then we can make them miss
Enough to make the image seen, as
When single beams don’t kiss

¹² Now—
If they were to match exactly right
Constructive Interference they should make
Even though Uncertainty provides
No way to make it work— or even fake!

¹³ But—
If there are no particles
So their energy is spread
Over the entire wavelength
Then his theory’s really dead!

¹⁴ In Nineteen Hundred and Ninety Nine
I set it up to see.
It failed to show a single time
Like his Uncertainty.

¹⁵ I ran the thing for months on end
Not once, could I make them miss
Adjusting the delay throughout
His particles just don’t exist!

¹⁶ But if you do adjust its phase
Through each degree of change
You’ll find its energy’s still there, along
It’s entire wavelength’s range

¹⁷ Thus the energy developed
Accumulates through time
A full period, one full wavelength long
In precisely-made space-time

¹⁸ There are those who claim I’m cheating
Say my test does not agree
For, I only see accumulated light
But there’s some facts they just don’t see

¹⁹ Interference happens
On the way and in the air
It has no means of accumulating
To build a statistic there

²⁰ ‘cause light will go right to the screen
To different places where
A bunch of single beams won’t change
What I would see right there

²¹ Yes, my eye will add it up
Accumulate in my stare
But that won’t change
      positions on the screen,
Where it lands directly there

²² All the singles in the world
Won’t wind up making in the air
A Constructive Interference shape
As a different image there

²³ This shakes up every physics class
‘cause all along we’re taught
About his great hypothesis
As every student sought

²⁴ So if it’s not by random
Then how is it that things work?
It’s reliable, and trust worthy
It never goes berserk*

²⁵ Each short-time interaction
‘twixt overlapping fields
Makes consistent products
For the same results it yields

²⁶ That’s not like random anything
It’s pseudorandom at its best
It always gets it right you see
So it never will forget

²⁷ Corrected Quantum Mechanics
With its pseudorandom Certainty
Now has a cause-and-effect foundation
That matches Relativity

²⁸ The work that’s done may still be good
Wave functions are ok
If they describe what really works
In our experiments of today

²⁹ ‘cause only pseudorandomness
Makes repeatable wave math
So keep your work, don’t go berserk
Advance along a straightened path

³⁰ So we’ve found the common basis
Now the Universe can sing
'cause finally, we've united them
Into a working Theory of Everything

³¹ So we’re no longer “uncertain”
We’re as sure as we can be
So let’s go make more progress
With new-found Certainty