¹ 150 years ago,
Charles Darwin wrote a book
That shook how people looked at life
Their former ways forsook.

² He made a great hypothesis
Said life came from the sea
Through incremental changes
Which wound up as you and me.

³ These changes, called mutations,
Were random at each stage.
Accumulating through the years
Through each and every age.

⁴ Along the way, he then did say
Was filtered at each leap
By Natural Selection
To choose which ones to keep.

⁵ The criteria for choosing
Would help the best one thrive
To find food or be eaten
And see who’s left alive.

⁶ It all seemed oh so natural
And logical at first
That folks thought they had finally filled
Their scientific thirst.

⁷ But when we look real close at it,
The details raise red flags
Because the logic of its works
Has several flaws and snags.

⁸ Now don’t you dare stop reading this
Because you know a lot.
Remember that true science builds on facts,
Not just on thought!

⁹ It might surprise you, PhD
To find something you’ve missed
That might just be quite different
With a scientific twist.

¹⁰ In his book there is a part
That most folks will ignore,
Because the evidence he found
Shot down what went before.

¹¹ He said there were some certain things
That couldn’t rightly be,
‘cause evolution wouldn’t work
To make these things we see.

¹² He gave us one example
Of eyes with useful sight
That only help mutated ones
When finally they work right.

¹³ Along the way, they were no use
They wouldn’t help at all,
Because blind animals
Get eaten up while small.

¹⁴ It wouldn’t matter how many years
10 million, maybe 9,
Because the task of improving
Falls on each one in the line.

¹⁵ If the chain is broken
The thing mutations build
Can never be completed
The line’s forever killed.

¹⁶ It makes Selection fail to work
At each new generation
Because they gave no help at all
To choose the best foundation.

¹⁷ Only when they are complete
Will eyes help in their mission
So, select mutated ones, can
Outdo their competition.

¹⁸ Oops!
If half-done eyes have never worked
To help us prey or not be preyed,
How did we get our peepers
Without evolution’s aid?

¹⁹ Now let us look at something that
Escapes examination,
‘cause they imagine that it works
Without a complication.

²⁰ Darwin and his wife have done
As anyone can see
Together they had made ten kids
A fine large family.

²¹ Did they evolve? Sneak in one night
To bounce on momma’s bed,
Or could it be that Charlie had some
Lust within his head?

²² He probably kept the lights down low
Romantic as can be,
Because there were important things
That he had failed to see.

²³ If eyes are complicated
And evade his theory’s way,
Can't we ask why sex is here?
And so popular today?

²⁴ Through millions of mutations
Collected on the way
To finally cause good sex to work
And make folks want to play?

²⁵ Along the way sex isn’t used
Each one's completely made
Through cell division for each one
Before the folks have played.

²⁶ Each useful trait must come about
In the evolutionary line
From a common parent with
All its genes aligned.

²⁷ What’s more, without cross breeding
‘cause sex has yet to go
Changes in the nearby lines
Won’t help evolution grow.

²⁸ It’s difficult enough you see
As Charlie made it clear
If eyes can’t come about,
How did sex at first appear?

²⁹ The process is so different
It’s completely out of reach,
two completely different beings
With different plumbing each?

³⁰ Need be simultaniously developed
From a common parent line.
Yet, they must be compatible
To make them intertwine.

³¹ How would each slight mutation
Build up such keen desires
To make an unused sexual urge
And both plumbing it requires?

³² If it’s not used, it can’t evolve
For Selection to take hold
It must provide improvement
For the new to eat the old.

³³ So, Did you follow logically
These scientific facts?
They’ve just left Evolution
Dead within it’s tracks!

³⁴ Next:
The process of conception
with each and every part
Is needed to make that first cell
That gives us all our start.

³⁵ Then after sex what happens then?
Cell Division comes in strong.
Why would it need the sexual part,
It’s been working all along?

³⁶ Natural Selection is said
To work by competition
Yet, these facts cannot be brought
To their logical completion.

³⁷ The way it works would have to be
Assembled from the start
In reliable precision
To make it work so smart.

³⁸ However—
At this point, it’s not working yet
In future, yes it might,
But random changes added up
Won’t make it work aright.

³⁹ For evolution has no force
To guide things all along.
What we have, is what we get.
It don’t know right from wrong.

⁴⁰ And therefore, it can’t do at all
The things they say it did.
It don’t explain the things we have
In fact, it never did!

⁴¹ Again, we have the problem
At each and every stage:
What makes each change so valuable
For competition to engage?

⁴² The process it’s developing
Is made by the wrong rules.
It’s not for eating nor for fight.
It requires different tools.

⁴³ Does sex help us find our food
Or make us smart or dumb,
This slight improvement we won’t need
For ages yet to come?

⁴⁴ According to his hypothesis
With each and every change,
They should have been the breakfast
For every creature on the range.

⁴⁵ Since it takes successful millions
Of changes in a line,
The chain would then be broken
Each and every time.

⁴⁶ Up ‘til now we have assumed
That changes do occur
Without machinery built in it
To make a him or her.

⁴⁷ But mutations surely are
A completely different story
but the ending’s just the same
for they’re just an allegory.

⁴⁸ So—
There is no physics behind it!
When such thinking is berserk
No one can make it function
‘cause it simply doesn’t work!

⁴⁹ Yet, let’s imagine it turned out
With plumbing settled in,
Who will teach the parents
To make it all begin?

⁵⁰ Remember now, it’s never worked.
They had no need to play,
Or get the fun that sex has brung
Down to this very day.

⁵¹ For up ‘til now each progeny
By Cell Division came.
Not one was made by sex you see,
The machinery’s not the same.

⁴³ They don’t know how to use it.
They don’t know what it’s for.
So, when she gets a headache
He thinks it's all a bore.

⁵² It really is a wonder
If any would be made
Without built-in desire
Our parents often played.

⁵³ So how could this develop
When it’s never used somehow,
Until the plumbing is all done
A million years from now?

⁵⁴ The process is so different
From what Charlie said would be.
It can’t evolve, can’t even grow.
Sex -- violates his theory!

⁵⁵ How many holes must we shoot
‘til we get it through our head
That real life doesn’t work
The way that Charlie said.

⁵⁶ His theory doesn't work you see.
It’s life that makes things be.
We need to fit our theories
To the evidence we see.

⁵⁷ Lay out the facts, it’s logical.
The pattern’s in their tracts,
‘cause accurate knowledge makes the difference
‘twix Bull Shine and Brass Tacks.

⁵⁸ By that way, we all can learn,
Advancement is so sweet
That we can find true peace of mind.
Such knowledge is a treat.

⁵⁹ So, why do folks so love this line, with
Explanations that don’t work?
It seems to me that it must be
Far deeper than a quirk

⁶⁰ 150 years gone by
While we didn’t have a clue
That Charlie’s sex life held the key
To all we thought we knew.